Ever Wonder What’s Going On With You? by Joe Reid Kirby III
“What’s going on with me?”
“Why did I react that way?”
“I should’ve said this …”
“I should’ve done that …”
We tend to keep all of the ‘wrong’ questions and concerns infinitely looping in our minds. Suppressing our true emotions has grown staggeringly popular within these last couple of decades. A slightly different emoticon face is preselected for every event:
We have our work face — that: don’t bother me, awkward look; with a hint of “the thinker.” We have our family face — the: nothing’s wrong so don’t ask me anything remotely related to me; and let’s just talk (or argue) about something ridiculously unimportant to pass time, favorite. We have our: ‘pretend I’m sleeping’ or ‘in the middle of the next greatest discovery’ face for our children; to get out of giving them the love they desire at that moment. And, let’s not forget about our: “don’t look at me; don’t talk to me; let’s just pretend I’m not even here” face that we proudly parade around in in-public.
Is that you?
Who are you?
What are you going through?
When was the last time you’ve sat down and checked on yourself? How’s your mind doing? Is your heart in the right place? When is the last time you’ve seen your true Self — the One without a face?
Even the lyrics of our music today can only find the words for other people, places, and things. Remember when artists used to convey a spot-on message through the transparent expression of their most tragic or tremendous experiences? There was once a time where stories were more interesting than news. Now though, the majority seem to enjoy the heat of reds over the intensity in blues.
Are you okay? You do know that it is okay to not be okay, right? The human body can only hold so much, although its’ storage capabilities are remarkable; but we must remember that what goes up must come down, and what goes in must come out. So what is your outlet? Even an ocean has rivers and streams. The rivers are the means of transferring what you productively create. The streams bring the incoming proceeds of your creations.
What have you created lately? Ah, you have no such gifts to create with. Sure, you may not be a painter, poet, dancer, singer, or filmmaker … but I’m sure you’re a mother, father, cook, cleaner, or dreamer — and what a gift those are! So, I ask you again, “what have you created lately?”
The problem is not that you have a problem, it’s that you ignore yourself — that inner-most voice that you know is you. That voice has been trying to tell you something hasn’t it? Why have you been ignoring it? Go to a quiet place. Sit still for a moment. Listen to yourself. What are YOU saying? After all this time of being ignored, you’re probably screaming. What is your soul crying for? If you’re not here to live, obviously you have something worth dying for. What is all of this trying for? You’re a being. A human being. Why did you get that privilege? Why are you not an ant instead? You think you are though … you think you’re so small, and your life seems to revolve around your bed.
To the eyes of this world you may be an ant; and you’re free to live this life as one. Or, you can choose to live free. Cut the strings you’ve stapled to your skin and tied the ends to emotional boulders guilty of weighing you down. The ones attached to your arms are the inhibitions that arrest you. The stringing of your legs are lassoed by fear. Your torso is being pulled by the gluttony of your terrible eating habits. The cord of hate will soon rip a heart-shaped hole in your chest. The line of doubt around your neck is sure to hang you if you fall. Each strand of your hair braided with threads of anxiety, stress, and depression. You’ve set yourself up for failure by attaching yourself to these things. Life seems a lot safer with strings attached, but you won’t make it very far. And your best life seems to be so far off in the distance. Can you see that you’ll never make it there though with those strings attached?
You may not be fully responsible for attaching these things to your life; however, you are in full control of detaching yourself from those things. You’ll never know though which strings are puppeteering your actions, if you never take the time to consciously examine yourself. And this is where it gets deep … Your mind is made up of memories, experiences, and emotions. Of course we enjoy to divulge only the greatness of those big three; unfortunately, it is more-so not the ‘happiest’ of those parts which make us whole. Lessons are most often taught in moments of despair. The secrets you’ll die with; embarrassing flashbacks; and any near-death experiences you’ve encountered can’t even slightly compare to our ancient ancestors times of the complete absence of hope.
The emotions of many generations before you have automatically been passed down to you. Your strongest feelings are generated by the genes you now wear, at a subatomic level, within your DNA. Your great-great grandmothers’ greatest fears or super-great uncles’ greatest hopes have been buried deep inside you. A fine portion of those voices in your head are your ancestors; and if your emotions become identical to theirs (even for a second), you subconsciously activate those answers that they have to share — from their library of memories and experiences. You had no idea you were so great did you?
The great thing about you though, is that you have the unalienable right to decide which thoughts to think; which feelings to feel; and which emotions to put in motion. The secret is in learning yourself and locating those on and off buttons throughout your body. How fun! There’s information inside of you that no ancestral site could find. Mountains of intellectual property and blueprints to a happy, fulfilled life camouflage themselves with the background of the only line that can truly make a difference — your bloodline. And even still, that’s only about a third of who you actually are.
Your personal experiences and memories make up the remainder of your being. What are you experiencing? What can you remember? You are what you put in (or what is being put in). Everything that interacts with your senses transforms into your common sense (which is why many who do not take the time to know themselves, or study what their mind is being fed, seem to have none). So what’s going on with you? What’s ‘on’ in you will ultimately determine where you’re going.
2017 3CupsOfJoe. All rights reserved.